Looking Back

Photo by Paige Davis Photography
Photo by Paige Davis Photogrpahy
Photo by Paige Davis Photogrpahy

It’s only been one month since I started my new job, and since making the decision to choose my marriage. In just one short month there have been soooo many changes for us, and things are better than I’d ever imagined.

Our marriage was already improving, but with my new job K (the husband) was able to quit his second job, giving him actual weekends, and us more time together, and to get things taken care of around the house that we’ve had to put off.

Then, we went and traded in our Nissan (gah, seriously, never getting a Nissan again) that had a transmission that was going out with less than 90k miles on it, for a brand new Toyota Rav4. Our old car caused me so much anxiety that I refused to even drive it. With the transmission going out it would randomly jerk, badly, while you were driving, sometimes just once or twice, and others the entire drive to work. I was always scared we’d get in an accident from it, or that the transmission would go out while we were driving, and we never went to date nights, work parties, anything really, for fear of car issues we couldn’t afford. 

We’ve already gone to one family dinner, and I went to a lunch with my aunt’s and female cousins, which never would have been an option before. It’s changed my stress level more than I ever imagined. And, the dogs all fit and aren’t cramped up in this tiny back seat, so it’s pretty amazing. 

My etsy shops are both officially closed, and I’m selling off the extra supplies I had. I’m finishing up the last 2 orders from my going out of business sale, and am so excited to get to spend more time with my little family.

Photo by Paige Davis Photography
Photo by Paige Davis Photography

It’s only been one month, but the changes in my attitude have been drastic, and just getting some more time with K and the dogs has been exactly what I’ve needed. The dogs have loved having K home on the weekends too, and are so pooped that they take numerous naps and are excited when it’s bed time, haha. I actually went out and played in the yard with K and the dogs, and it’s been at least 6 months since I’ve even had time to think about doing that.

That day after K talked about hating working two jobs I started job hunting, and I put down a salary that I dreamed of making, and never honestly thought I’d get, since where I worked before undervalued QA so much. Then, I got offers, and more offers, and had companies fighting over me. I was completely overwhelmed, and terrified of this change, but so excited for what this would mean for K and I.

Photo by Paige Davis Photography
Photo by Paige Davis Photography

There have definitely been times where I’ve been bitter at all that I’ve had to give up, my photography business that was doing so well, etsy shops that were really starting to take off, and a job that made it so I could stay home with my dogs if they were sick. I felt like a failure for not being able to juggle everything and make it work, and still do sometimes, but then I’ll look out and see K throwing the rope for Sherlock and Luna, or Padfoot and Sharky not grasping fetch, or ever able to catch a ball, and I see that this is exactly where I need to be, and what I need to be doing.

This new job has pushed me in ways that I never thought possible, and has already helped me grow. The environment is 100 times better than where I was before, and I work with people that genuinely respect and enjoy each others company. Closing the etsy shops has been a huge weight off of my shoulders. I no longer have to spend 4-5 hours a day, every day, after work crocheting, and I don’t have to spend 12-16 hours a day on the weekends crocheting orders. We don’t have to have that money to survive, and I feel so invigorated. 

K and I are better than ever, even then we were as newlyweds. We’ve both been working our butts off to try to meet the others needs, and communicating, which we were never great at before. We’ve been continuing to make us time a priority, and we’re working on the others love language, and understanding more why we each do the things we do, rather then reacting with hurt or confusion. 

Photo by Paige Davis Photography
Photo by Paige Davis Photography

We still have a ways to go, I imagine we always will since we’ll always be changing, but we have finally gotten us back again. We’re falling back in love, more and more each day, and we’ve learned to fight with everything we’ve got for what we want, which includes our marriage. I look back on the bad times, and as horrible as they’ve been, it’s what we needed to get to where we are today, and I’m grateful for them.

Only one month into all of these changes, and I’m giddy with excitement. This year, it’s going to be an amazing year for us. This song pretty much sums up exactly how I’m feeling.


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