Loving myself, which includes loving my body, isn’t something I’ve ever excelled at. I didn’t really grow up learning healthy habits for eating and exercise, so trying to learn it on my own, and mostly trying to learn it while being married, has been a huge struggle.
Becoming a mother was a huge turning point for me. I now have a daughter, I need to be that good example, I need to teach her all of the things I was never taught about being healthy. I need to never have her hear me complain about my body, use the word fat, or diet, I need to have a healthy relationship with food so I can teach her to have one. I want to raise her with so many healthy habits, which means I better start having some myself.
I’ve been working out pretty consistently since September, and I’m already noticing little differences. I mean, I still want to die every time, and if the doorbell rings in the middle of a workout I say a little thank you prayer for letting me stop, but there are differences. I’ve had to move on to heavier weights, I can get through the programs easier, I have a hard time giving myself rest days because I just want to keep going and meet my goals. But, I have my setbacks, I get sick, or A gets sick, or the dogs act out and eat a phone chord and can no longer be left alone (wish I was kidding), etc. I’ve missed more than I wanted, but the important thing is that I’m still pushing myself, and I get up and get back to work every time.
I’m not the type of person that can just go to the gym, I come up with every excuse in the book and then some. Plus, once there I get really self conscience, and it’s game over. I tried to do a zumba class once, and we’ll just say that everyone was distracted by me, and I literally ran into/hit a few people – quite embarrassing. So, I workout at home. I’ve done both the BBG program as well as some Beach Body programs, and I love that I can just do them when I have time during the day, and that I get to mix things up and try a new program after the first is finished. I was serious enough about getting my act together that I even have a Beach Body coach I work with, Alison, who is insanely motivating and so nice! I won’t pretend I didn’t used to roll my eyes at all of those posts about Beach Body, or people signing up as coaches, etc. While coaching is definitely not my thing, Alison is awesome and helps keep me motivated, and helps me not feel awful when I need to miss a day because A is sick, etc.
I don’t do the whole weigh myself weekly thing because, let’s be honest, that crap is depressing and I stress eat at least once a week (working on it). But, I do take before and after photos for each program, and I just started measuring myself. Yeah, I’m not going to pretend that isn’t depressing too, but it’s only depressing about once every 30 days when you feel like you’ve kicked ass and you learn you aren’t as hard core as you thought.
So, pretty much, here’s to a healthier me, and to being a good example for my family. And, now it’s public that I’m working on it and trying to reach my goals, so I’ll probably be a bit more motivated to work out now, which is always good.