Sherlock had been battling epilepsy like a champ for months, changing meds, getting blood tests, changing med doses again, adding new meds, more blood tests – the cycle felt endless. Throughout it all he was still able to be happy and enjoy life, and he was mostly our Sherlock. He wasn’t quite the same, but we could still see our little man.
Last night, after having 5 seizures in one day he’s no longer with us. He will forever be our happy little man that followed us around, always wanting to see what was going on. Our most loving dog, ready to greet us with a smile.
We both thought we’d already prepared for this. The vet had told us it was epilepsy or a brain tumor, and that we’d treat for epilepsy and if we couldn’t get that under control possibly explore the route of a brain tumor. We did everything we could, with so many vet appointments, never leaving Sherlock alone so we could watch for seizures and get his meds adjusted right away if they happened, with more blood tests, etc. For over 4 months we didn’t go grocery shopping together, go on date nights, anything, to make sure we were here. I won’t pretend those months weren’t a little bit of hell being cooped up, but we’d gladly do it again if it could have made a difference.
When you finally passed the 2 week mark for having seizures we were ecstatic, thinking something was finally working! Maybe we could walk you again soon, which we couldn’t do for fear you’d have a seizure mid walk and not be able to get home. We realized it had been 3 to 3.5 weeks since your last one, and were actually talking about it in the morning, hopeful that the end we’d been preparing for in case wasn’t coming.
Within a few hours of talking about it you had your first seizure. We weren’t worried, you usually had 2, about 10 hours apart, every 2 weeks. That was your norm. It was still far too often, but that was your norm and we’d get you to the vet for a med adjustment, or additional meds. Not even 10 minutes later you were having another one. I called the vet, and was on hold, then on hold again, and while talking to the vet tech trying to figure out what we could do, you had another one. I couldn’t even safely get you to a vet with how frequently they were happening, so K left, got you additional meds along with some valium to give you rectally if the seizures kept happening.
You had your forth seizure while K was coming back with your medicine. You weren’t even recovering from your previous ones,
you could barely stand, and would try to walk but stumbled everywhere. You were so confused, and just wanted to be touching me at all times. Trying to follow me as I fed A and tried to take care of her and the other dogs while also taking care of you. A neighbor came over to help, and we tucked you into a blanket – she gave you pets until you fell asleep.
K got home and we were able to give you the valium rectally. It was meant to stop a seizure that wouldn’t stop, and the vet said to just give it to you, so we did. Not even 2 hours later you had yet another seizure. As the night went on things got worse and worse. You couldn’t walk straight, you were biting, you were so confused and you weren’t our Sherlock. You tried to jump into window wells, ran into parked cars, couldn’t walk without stumbling over a curb. You kept whining and walking in circles, bumping things the whole time.
There was nothing else we could do. You were so far gone you barely really knew us, and it was just getting worse and more and more seizures were happening. K had to work, so two neighbors took me and Sherlock to go see K at work, while another stayed with A while she slept. We got Sherlock McDonald’s, then drove to K’s work so he could say goodbye. K was your favorite person ever, but you didn’t even know him and it took coaxing you with a hamburger to even get you to go near him. You gobbled up your hamburgers, looking in the bag for more, then as soon as you were done didn’t want anything to do with us. You used to climb up on us and put your little front legs around our necks, giving us a hug. You’d lick us, tail wagging like crazy, with a huge grin on your face. We tried to get you to give K one last hug, but you weren’t you anymore, so you didn’t want to.
After talking with vet techs and a vet today, it sounds like you kept having mini seizures throughout the night, and everyone is leaning more toward a brain tumor since none of the meds were helping. There was nothing we could do, and everyone agrees that putting you down was our only not selfish option.
We love you so much buddy, and wish so badly we could have found a way to help you.